Sexology demystified for you - LesPremiersMoments
Sexology demystified for you

Sexology demystified for you

Sexology demystified for you

The profession of sex therapist is often perceived as mysterious! What are we talking about when we consult a sex therapist? Who consults them and what are the reasons that may lead people to take this step? How do you manage to talk openly about your sexuality with a stranger? And above all, what are the results following follow-up related to his sexuality? 

You will find answers to all these questions and more by browsing this article!

To begin with, who sees a sex therapist? Is it for me?

These are people like you and me who want to improve or change aspects of their sexuality and / or relationships, such as their bond with their partner, their siblings, their child, etc.

This is the story of a couple who chose to seek support from a sex therapist. 

Maude and her lover, Eric (fictitious names), decided to consult because the 2 partners are no longer having sex. Following the introductory meeting, the sex therapist understands that from Maude's 2nd trimester of pregnancy, Eric began to avoid reconciliations, despite his partner's clear requests. 

The couple have been together for a few years and both assess that things were going well “on the sex side” until Maude got pregnant. It was not a planned pregnancy and before they had to decide if the pregnancy continued, they had never brought up the subject. 

After asking questions to understand the situation, the sex therapist notices that Eric has many fears about the baby: he wonders if he can hurt the fetus during penetration and if their unborn child would hear them in the room. case they would make love.

All these questions prevent him from maintaining an erection and especially from wanting to have sex with his partner. 

And for her?

Maude, for her part, found it very difficult to live all these weeks without contact or intimacy with her partner. Even though he reassured her with words, she felt he was moving away and she feared that he no longer wanted her because of the changes related to the pregnancy. 

With this information, the sex therapist takes the opportunity to educate and address the answers related to Eric's fears, while specifying that these are very common myths in which many people believe.

Then, during the following meetings, the couple defined their consultation objectives: they want to regain their intimacy and resume their sexual activities before the baby arrives.

In this sense, the sex therapist has built an intervention plan aimed at achieving the goals they have set for themselves. She therefore approached the change that is taking place: moving from couple to family, from lovers to parents. She also supported the couple in expressing their feelings in relation to their situation.

Finally, the professional helped the couple find their own means in order to maintain a comfortable balance between their different future roles and a frequency of sexual relations that suits both partners. 

It is not because you have experienced a situation similar to what is described above that you should consult ... However, if you feel that your situation is making you unhappy, that it creates conflicts in your relationship, that if she is worrying you or if you just want to change this, these are signs that you are ready to consult.

Remember, you are the best person to know your needs and how to meet them!

What is a sex therapist?

The role of the sex therapist in a helping relationship process is to offer you support, listening and guidance in your reflections to get through a difficult moment or a process of change with the help of concrete means. 

The sex therapist uses different means and approaches in order to support people in their journey towards sexual and / or relational well-being, knowing how to adapt to the population to which the sex therapist addresses. 

What are the reasons for consulting a sexologist?

Concretely, the reasons for consult a sex therapist are numerous. We can divide them into 3 main categories: 

Sexual difficulties:

  • premature ejaculation disorders
  • pain on penetration
  • questioning related to their sexual orientation

Affective and relational difficulties:

  • communication problems
  • love difficulties
  • separation, divorce, mourning

Sexual health-related difficulties:

  • infertility and pregnancy
  • miscarriages and termination of pregnancy

Where can I find a sex therapist?

We are pleased to announce that Les Premiers Moments offers you a new service: a sex therapist specializing in perinatal and early childhood is joining our team!

She therefore specializes in the period of the desire for a child until the birth of it and this, until she is 5 years old. You will be able to call on its services for counseling in an individual, couple or family way. 

If your reason for consulting is not consistent with the perinatal or infancy period; you will be able to find a sex therapist in your area who has the expertise you need by going to the OPSQ website, under the heading “Find a sex therapist”. 

When you first meet, keep in mind that it is essential to feel comfortable with the sex therapist in order to be able to create a significant bond of trust and be accompanied through this process.

Approaching subjects related to our sexuality is often experienced with embarrassment or embarrassment. Rest assured: sex therapists have a solid training which allows them to approach the subject with delicacy and in accordance with your rhythm. Finally, in the eyes of the sex therapist, intimacy and sexuality are subjects as natural to approach as desserts for a pastry chef!

Shanie Lapointe
Sexologist and early childhood consultant

* The feminine is used to designate a sex therapist since it is a profession mostly practiced by women