Night relevailles for the binoculars
Le relevailles service is, in my opinion, a privilege as a companion, since young parents ask for personalized help at home, in their privacy family and their daily lives.
Le partage,can help and the partner are therefore at the heart of this service. But when it comes to relevailles at night, the dimension is more intense since at night, accumulated fatigue takes over, feelings and senses are heightened.
Often it is at night that anxieties appear. Young parents feel lonely and it is difficult to ask for outside help in the middle of the night, at two in the morning.
A postpartum doula can make the difference for a few nights, precisely to allow new parents to have a little respite. She makes sure to guide them for breastfeeding or even refer them to their baby's sleep.
Remember that in the old days when parents welcomed a new baby, they were surrounded by their families in a great way, parents, aunts, cousins, neighbors helped for the children. daily tasks in order to allow new parents to rest. They brought meals, looked after the elders, did a little housework.
Currently, the organization of our company no longer allows us to have this proximity and this intense family help. There is obviously no question of reproach but simply that current societal concepts have pushed us towards this isolation experienced by young parents.
It is at this moment that the accompanying persons in relevailles play this so important role of taking over or allowing parents to take the time to get up after the birth of their child (ren).
John and Sophie's story
I speak from experience, since I had the chance to accompany a couple who were asking for help in postnatal and this even before the birth of their binoculars. John and Sophie's situation is a bit unusual, as they are 51 and 47 years old respectively when I first met them.
They were looking for a student in perinatal, in order to take over at night with their babies. Sophie, the mother-to-be, was near her term when we met. It is with a certain pride but not without emotion that she told me their story and their highly courageous journey to have a child.
They had to wait 10 years and overcome 13 attempts at medically assisted fertilization before learning the happy news. This extremely eager, courageous, loving and patient couple moved me as much by their journey as by the strength and fragility they exuded. They who have hoped so much, soon find themselves parents.
The many failures leave traces and it was difficult for them to project themselves, to plan and to organize their future daily life with their binoculars. The cradles, the bathtub, the changing table or even the stroller were still missing, because the fear of having another failure to undergo prevented them from materializing the arrival of the twins.
When we first met we agreed that I would be present at their home from their first day back from maternity. I won't hide from you that I was caught between the excitement of getting started, of meeting the twins, the pride of helping this young family, but also a certain responsibility and a little stress all the same.
For a matter of organization and space I slept with the binoculars in the guest room next to that of the parents. It seemed important to me from the first day to inform myself about the progress of the childbirth, the first ties installed, the feelings of each one.
I spent time to learn more, to adapt as well as possible to their fears, their fears, their desires and their needs, after all I was there for them, to support them in their brand new parenthood. !
Sophie wished breast-feed her daughters, so she set up a routine from the maternity ward because putting binoculars at the breast is a small organization.
I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised to learn of her determination and willingness to breastfeed, she knew she had to put them to the breast every two hours so we had to be efficient so that she could acquire the right gestures and reflexes, while having moments to rest (because it is well known, a new mother must rest).
I would like to point out that of course, I am present to support the parents during the night, but my role was also to make the parents independent. I spent time explaining, showing, supporting, re-explaining (well yes at 3 am it's difficult to stay focused), readjusting, encouraging, motivating and above all reassuring. My goal was really to show them that they are fully capable of caring for their babies.
The first two nights were nights of adaptation for all 5, imagine that it is a hell of a change for Sophie and John to go from being a couple to that of parents but on top of that, ending up as 4! It was a constant learning for the twins and then a taming as a companion.
Usually I would help Sophie with a feed before everyone went to bed. It was a good time to take the time to explain new positions, or to work out some readjustments.
It was not bad around 23pm that everyone was in bed and the rhythm of the feedings was going to dictate our nights. As soon as I heard small movements, small sucking noises, I would quickly and gently wake up Sophie in her room in order to install her comfortably on her sofa, wedged between the cushions and I would come and put the binoculars close to her in order to that all three are in the best conditions for breastfeeding.
It was sport and organization but it worked. It was not uncommon for me to hold the twins myself, Sophie was so tired and exhausted for the breastfeeding, but so determined, she wanted to continue breastfeeding.
Sophie was very tired of pregnancy and childbirth, the first few days were not easy and recovery was extremely difficult. It was therefore important for her that the feedings are obviously a privileged moment, that they take place smoothly, tenderness and pleasure and despite everything, a minimum organized so that she can rest.
When the feed was over, Sophie went back to bed and I hugged the twins around in my arms while they were going back to sleep.
After a few nights we had established a beautiful relationship and it was simply with a little caress on the shoulder that I gently came to wake her from her sleep so that she could feed her daughters, the rest followed quite well: the settling in - latching on and then going back to bed to sleep again 1 hour / 1:30 until the next feed.
I must admit that Alice and Anaé were very easy newborns. Yes, there were evening crying, but during the night they would fall asleep quite quickly before being able to put them back in their cribs.
Find a rhythm
Around 7 am I slipped away to start my day of classes and in the evening I came back to give a hand.
Over the nights I was able to see the evolution of all four of them. John was more and more comfortable with his babies, more confident and less hesitant towards these two beings so small. Sophie managed breastfeeding incredibly well, she accepted more and more to take care of herself and too bad for the mountain of unfolded laundry and the dishes not done in the evening.
My adventure lasted a month with this family, A month of intense, beautiful, moving nights, filled with discoveries but above all with a revelation that was born in me.
From my studies, I knew that I was going to accompany couples during pregnancy and childbirth as well as in the postpartum period, but during this experience I realized the importance of support for parents when they return home. at home.
The role that caregivers at birth / in relevailles play, directly in clients' homes, in their comfort in order to create their habits in their personal daily life is so precious.
This support or simply the reassuring presence that allows them to keep their self-confidence allows them to embark on the adventure with confidence and gentleness.
Thank you to them for giving me the opportunity to live this experience and this adventure, but above all for allowing me to discover another facet of my commitment to parents and newborns.
Accompanying person at birth and relevailles
Did you know?
Before being a service of help and accompaniment "the relevailles" were a period after the childbirth which according to the region in the world or the beliefs resulted in a ceremony, a blessing or rituals intended for the new childbirth. .
Do you know that the care Rebozo is a closing ceremony offered by The First Moments?