Like the “traditional” baby shower, why not have a long party? AFTER the delivery of your offspring? We are fortunate to live in Quebec, where maternity "leaves" are considered generous. While the infant will punctuate the rhythm of the clock in breast staccato and / or bottles, smiles, naps, crying and small vomit, here are some ideas to redefine the collective notion of parental support, and how to ensure a network of allies. / es during this period.

The simplest and most necessary gift

Here is, quite simply, the most important gift to put on the list: time! Each new parent can never say it enough: 24 hours with a questionable quality and quantity of sleep, it still goes too quickly. This flexible offering adapts to all situations, like an infinite value gift card.

Time, yes, but from whom? How? 'Or' What? Why? Before giving birth, think about creating yourself your guestlist. Friends, family, neighbors; know how to recognize those who will keep the party alive with cleaning, healthy and pleasant foods for your body which spends its time nourishing another and even better, moments of laughter and well-deserved relaxation.

Indeed, it is not just the baby who will need to be looked after. Chances are your partner is already back to work and loneliness can be heavy. Whether it is to have baby watched during a shower of more than two and a quarter minutes, to talk about your new life as an unfiltered mom or simply to squeeze a game of Scrabble between two naps, do not hesitate to let yourself be distracted!

You can even set up a schedule of visiting hours and share it with your world through apps like Google Calendar, or create a messaging group through Messenger or Whattsap where your tribe can organize around your time and needs, without infringing on your hospitality.

Another ally to consider: the doula, which obviously does more than prepare you for childbirth! In the same way as with a psychologist, establish a bond of trust with someone equipped for these situations, it's always a winner.

New parents need gifts too, right?

Let’s let go: the weather is fine, but between two administrative misfortunes and the cuts or losses in wages (shoutout to self-employed mothers), who says birth implies expenses. There are those gifts that are always appreciated and thanks to new technologies, solutions for family and distant friends who want to free up your time!

It is indeed possible to offer pay for housekeeping service and even to contribute to the bank of hours of the doula for the relevailles. Yes, know that among others, the doulas of The First Moments offer, among theBirth doula services and Our prenatal classes, a relevailles service to help you recover better, when friends and family are unavailable, or if you are a new expat mom.

For material gifts, do not hesitate to encourage your loved ones to contribute among themselves to offer you what best meets your needs, without sacrificing quality, for example. With all the bags of baby clothes that might be waiting for you and the time that will be running out, you should give yourself the gift of not being more encumbered!

I would also like to point out an important fact: in Quebec alone, approximately 6000 children per year are born premature. For the 12000 parents concerned, and especially for those whose child is very premature or very premature, the first months following their generally dramatic arrival are even more difficult. Imagine a baby shower without a baby because he is in an incubator far from his parents. A welcome party for baby can also be a rather nifty alternative to baptism, where all generations will find their account.

Rebecca Blain Fortin
collaborator

Rebecca Blain-Fortin is a Montreal-based freelance writer and Matante Flyée with an insatiable curiosity, a subtly scathing humor and of course, a love for the little ones!